My favorite work of creative writing…EVER!!

This is an ad written to sell a Nissan Xterra that was initially titled Ninja Hauler.

“OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o’clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn’t meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that’s what your Prius is for. If that’s the kind of car you’re looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn’t even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don’t get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn’t let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don’t even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It’s got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you’re operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you’re being chased by Libyan terrorists, you’ll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It’s saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There’s a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I’ll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don’t walk up and tell me you’ll give me $5,000 for it. That’s liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let’s just say you won’t be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There’s only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it’s a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I’ll get back to you. And when I do, we’ll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I’m throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can’t fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.”

P.S. In the original ad, there was a picture of the Xtrerra and even a picture of the MC Hammer Pants. Hope you enjoyed it.

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Interesting article…upgrades in techno

Interesting article…upgrades in technology are being implemented into literally every aspect of our lives. Will it ever be too much?

How being prepared will help you get the design you want

The concept is simple. The more information that is given, the more accurate and complete the result will be. An accurate result reduces unnecessary stress and can save you money.

At the moment you decide you want a new home designed specifically for you, that is when you should begin preparing. Preparation may include: collecting magazine clippings, taking photos of other homes, writing down needs, wants, and dreams, finding a lot to accommodate desired square footage,  check for plans on your designers’ website that may fit your needs, or even sketching out possible layouts.  By doing a few things to prepare, your designer will have a great starting point, and be able to produce a beautiful custom design to fit your needs, goals, and lifestyle.

At Habitations Home Plans, we love it when our customers can give us as much information up front as possible, to better assess their needs.  However, we understand that time is often something that our customers may not have much of.  So, even if you have not been able to collect as much information as you would have liked, we can help you collect information and show you options that may fit your needs.  Also, whether you have information or not, we ask questions that will help you remember things you may have wanted in your new design, that may have been otherwise overlooked. We take the design of your home very seriously, and will do everything in our power get you everything you desire in you new home.

Good Luck!

Quality Energy Efficient Windows

Valley Glass Windows:

Choosing the right window can make or break the appearance of a home. The Valley Glass Aspen 6900 Series has a bold and independent look that, without doubt, sets it apart from all the other vinyl windows on the market. The even, symmetrical lines of the window produce an architecturally sound product that truly stands out.

Glass

Most vinyl windows on the market use a thinner glass called Single Strength (3/32″) as their standard glass. Single Strength is more cost-effective for the manufacturer, but isn’t the most durable product. Single Strength is thinner, making it more susceptible to glass breakage. We use a heavier glass called Double Strength or DS Glass (1/8″) as our standard glass. Double Strength Glass adds considerable strength to your windows, making glass breakage much less likely. It also helps reduce noise.

Low E Glass (Energy Efficient Glass)

Energy efficiency has become a focus of every homeowner. We have provided our windows with Solarban 60 Solar Control LowE Glass from PPG. Solarban 60 LowE is an energy-efficient glass that helps keep heat and ultraviolet light out while keeping your furnace heat in. PPG has devoted years of research and testing to develop a number of the most efficient glass types in the industry. Solarban 60 helps each window achieve the necessary U-Value to pass the new energy requirements. You can feel comfortable in your home knowing that even our standard windows provide the energy efficiency many other companies make you pay extra for.

Solarban 70 Glass (Higher Efficiency Glass)

With rising energy costs, finding energy-efficient building materials has become a very popular demand. PPG has responded to these demands by developing a higher-grade LowE called Solarban 70. One of the concerns of homeowners in our climate is heat build-up. Have you ever sat next to large windows in a great room during the afternoon and felt the heat pounding in? Solarban 70 was designed to combat solar heat gain. Solar heat is measured through a term called the Solar Heat Gain Coefficient. This coefficient measures how much solar heat is actually passing through your windows. To prevent solar heat from entering your home, you would want to choose a window with a low Solar Heat Gain Coefficient. Solarban 70 has one of the lowest Solar Heat Gain Coefficients and still lets in a decent amount of natural light.

Valley Glass windows boast many features that improve window quality and efficiency even more.  These include a long-lasting silicone spacer system, a dual-cam locking system for tighter and more secure seals, and a concealed outside screen…more on Valley Glass windows.

Happy New Year!

We want to send out a BIG thank you to everyone for helping us make 2011 a great and successful year. We have designed many wonderful homes and have made some great new friends through our clients and builders. We are truly blessed!
We look forward to creating even more friendships and helping all future home owners and all contractors accomplish their 2012 goals.
Hope to see you soon:)

Advanced Framing Techniques or OVE

At Habitations Home Plans we try to be a bit choosy with what we call out on our plans and the details we show.  Just like with our peanut butter, hopefully you recall “Choosy mom’s choose Jif”  🙂  Anyway, with the big surge in Green Building, energy savings, renewable materials, etc. we have definitely seen some great products but we have also seen some products that are not worth the money and effort and some that are completely false claims and don’t have anything to do with green building.

One thing Habitations has seen and is working to incorporate in our corner of the industry is the Advanced Framing Techniques as well as developing better ways to achieve a thermal break in exterior walls which improves the efficiency of a structure immensely.

Take a look at the following link regarding OVE.  http://blog.builddirect.com/greenbuilding/green-building-advanced-framing/comment-page-1/#comment-1384

If you’re interested in Advanced Framing, lowering the overall lumber bill on your next home along with energy savings every month and how to incorporate it into your next home give us a call at 801.476.1860 or 800.378.0123.

And the Winner Is…

In September, the NWHBA announced the winner of it’s 2011 Parade of Homes Peoples’ Choice award and, once again, a home designed by Habitations took the prize! The European-style home, located in South Ogden, was built by Stephenson Homes and was an obvious favorite of many patrons. See details and photos of the award-winning home by clicking here.

UtahStyle Feature Home

Habitations found itself in the news once again this summer when one of its custom home designs was featured in the August issue of the new local magazine, UtahStyle. The Victorian-style home, located in Huntsville, Utah, is owned by Brian and Jana Watts, who, from the start, wanted every detail of their home to have the authentic look of a home built in the late 1800’s.

The Habitations team was up to the challenge, designing a home perfect for the era, complete with ornate trim, beautiful Gothic windows and a full wrap-around porch. The result: it is nearly impossible to tell that the home is a new build and not a well-preserved original Victorian structure.

This latest accomplishment is further proof that Habitations is expert at home design in any style. From traditional to modern, cottage to craftsman, the Habitations team has the experience and knowledge to create a home for even the most discerning customer. One of our Home Designs was published in the Summer 2011 UtahStyle magazine.

Check it out on pages 70-77.

2011 Parade of Homes Spotlight

We hope everyone was able to stop by and walk through home #22.  This home was absolutely stunning!  Bryce Stevenson and his crew from Stevenson Homes did an amazing job building this home that Habitations Home Plans designed for one of our clients.

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During the Parade of Homes, 2 News did a spotlight on this home.  You can see the video HERE.

You can also view a great video slideshow of this home HERE, courtesy of John Shupe at Prudential Utah Real Estate and

Habitations New Team Member

Hey, Habitations has a new hire. Here is a little about Stuart.

A Graduate from Brigham Young University – Idaho with a Bachelor’s of Arts in Interior Design in 2010, Stuart brings a new skill set to the Habitations Team. He is currently a member of ASID (American Society of Interior Designers) and has won awards within the association. He has knowledge in kitchen and bath design, residential design and drafting, architectural rendering, interior space planning, lighting, construction, and materials/finishes selection. Previously an intern with Habitations Home Plans, Stuart demonstrated his creativity through conceptual home design and worked with the habitations team to help serve our clients. Stuart has a strong passion for design and is a strong asset to our company as we move forward in this market. He is eager to introduce new services to our firm including: Interior space planning, lighting design, and interior design color and style consultations. We feel this will help our clients receive a more cohesive design and a better end result. Stuart is a firm believer that Design, whether good or bad, has a profound influence on our lives. Please join us in welcoming Stuart as he begins his career with our team at Habitations Home Plans.